Aphorisms by and about Cats

The above cat is usually quite pleasant, but like all cats he is a good actor.

It may be asked, could any human being be happy living as a cat does, devoting their whole time to meticulously satisfying the necessities of life? But it may be answered that no one ever has.

The cat perceives no distinction between felinity and felicity, but any human can. This works very well for a cat, who does not care what a human might think.

Cats are the best animals to read with, because they are so often either sleeping or behaving as bibliophiles do.

“At any rate, I am intelligent enough to put up the appearance of intelligence.”

“I like four things: food, hunting, sleeping, and being served. I do all of them very well, though sometimes the last needs a bit of forcing.”

“The greatest misery I can imagine is being a human being or a pipe-cleaner.”

Cats are never impatient. They can meow for hours if need be.

There is a system of virtue specific to cats. Being pleased takes the place of our gratitude, and doing things convenient to others takes the place of our selflessness. But cats have a more cosmic philosophy of the true good. ‘It is more important,’ they think, ‘for things to go well and individuals to get what they want, than it is for me, one mere cat, to be a good cat. Thus it is far more significant for me to get my food on time than for me to express pleasure at getting it.’

“The older I get, the more I come to understand the great truth that underlies feline nature: instincts exist not so that we can fulfill them, but so that we ask humans to provide for them.” – scholium: “It does not actually matter whether I eat the food or not – the purpose of my hunger is fulfilled the moment the human gives me the food.”

Concluding contribution from the author’s cat – “I am actually quite happy now that you have finally realised that I was meowing at the door to signify that I wanted to go to sleep. We cats use symbolic language quite as well as you do!”